Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Things I've Tried...

I wanted to compile a list of conception schemes and devices that I've tried. And have ultimately been unsuccessful. Ahem. Here goes:

1. Sex (missionary position, doggy-style, girl-on-top, in the shower -- all unsucessful)
2. Alcohol ("Have a couple glasses of wine and RELAX... that's how we did it.")
3. Cutting caffeine (made for an unfriendly me)
4. Temping (drove me crazy and my RE is forbidding it)
5. Instead cups (that was a mess... I shall not go into details)
6. Ovulation predictors (couldn't read them)
7. CBEFM (nice, but didn't work)
8. Pre-Seed (why does it work for everyone else the first time?)
9. Mucinex (worked somewhat)
10. Grapefruit juice (did make more mucous... oddly)
11. Green tea (same as above)
12. Pineapple cores (you don't see me talking about my baby, do you?)
13. Acupuncture (had some weird side effects, but I'll try it again)
14. Forgetting about it (only made me obsess more)
15. Pillow under butt after sex
16. Lying on stomach after sex (since uterus is retroflexed)
17. Lingerie
18. Going away for a weekend
19. Fertility drugs and IUI (currently)
20. Mom and blind client guy lighting candles at churches
21. Paying the Blessed Virgin $1 weekly
22. Lucky baby booties above the bed
23. Amassing baby karma (requires being around babies, which only reminds one that you don't have one!)
24. Fertility yoga
25. Poultry and eggs (Read Waiting For Daisy)
26. Prayer
27. Obsessing

The list will continue...

4 comments:

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

I will add:

Go on a cruise
Robitussin (in addition to the Mucinex)
Traditional Chinese Medicine to balance my chi
Praying to random patron saints
Anointing myself with blessed oil
Tried doing it in the back seat of a car
giving up and starting the adoption process (which we haven't gone through with)

And the every popular
Relax.

If I had a nickel for every dumb thing I tried...well, I might be able to do an IVF cycle!

Infertility humor--only the lucky ones get it.

nancy said...

lol. I have to sit down and come up with my own list now. Awesome post!

Michell said...

I've tried some of those such as the accupuncture, temping, opks, CBEFM, Mucinex. I've also tried soy isoflavones, herbal supplements that looked like liquid poo and of course the stress, bargaining with whomever may be listening and wishing wells. Welcome to the blog world and good luck in your journey.

JJ said...

Oh that list looks familiar...
Welcome to the blog world and great support community! I wish you a short journey!